A Cat Of the Military
by Blonde Hurricane
Summary: A hot August day in Eastern. The Colonel explains what it means to be a Leo while Hawkeye tries to keep her cool. Bad summary. I know. Trust me, its funny, though. Slight Royai. Rated for swearing.


_Slight Royai. Rated for some swearing. Characters may be alittle OOC purely for enertainment purposes. Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own FMA, nor do I gain a profit from ANY story I write so ahead and sue cause you will get NOTHING! _

* * *

**A Cat of the Military **

It was a hot August day and the sun beat down on Eastern command. The windows were open and not a single officer could be found wearing their full uniform. A stack of papers lay untouched on Colonel Mustang's desk right next to his feet.

Colonel Roy Mustang was leaning back into his chair with his feet propped up as he read the newspaper. His jacket had been abandoned a while ago and now rested on the back of his chair while his shirt had been unbuttoned about half way down.

Meanwhile in the rest of the office, the others sat lazily around the staff desk. Breada was leaned back in his chair with a damp rag covering his face, Furey was sitting with his head curled up in his hands, fast asleep, his glasses sitting nest to him. Havoc sat staring up at the ceiling, watching the hazy swirls of smoke his cigarette made. He was the dressed down of all of them. He had not only taken off his jacket, but also his shoes and his once, crisp, clean shirt, had sweat stains and was completely open.

Suddenly a glassful of cold water was dumped on his head and he let out a blissful, "Ahhh…." Havoc whipped the water out of his eyes and saw Hawkeye standing over him with an empty glass.

"Thanks Hawkeye," he said with a tired grin.

"Don't thank me," she muttered dryly, "I was just trying to put out that cigarette."

Havoc looked down at his now soggy cigarette and tossed it in the trash while Hawkeye went to the break room to get another glass of water.

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye walked out of the break room equipped with a fresh glass of cold water and a stack of papers. Her jacket and her shoulder holster had been safely tucked away in her desk when they had become just too much for her. It was one of the rare days she wished that Mustang would carry out his mini-shirt plan.

'I wouldn't have to wear these fucking pants. I'd be at least ten degrees cooler in a mini-skirt. To hell with any guys that want to ogle me. Anything has to be better than this sweat box they call a uniform.' She was thinking bitterly to herself as she entered the office. The heat was wearing her patience thin.

Roy looked over his newspaper as Hawkeye came in. The sight of her sweating without her jacket or usual holster made the heat alittle more bearable for him. He quickly went back to his newspaper, if he stared then either his nose would start bleeding or she would shoot him.

Riza gulped down half of the glass of water. She took a side ways glance at Mustang before picking up the papers again to look them over. The sight of all these well shaped Military men sweating, with their shirts coming off and the heavy scent of sweat in the air was starting to bother her. 'I hate this heat' she thought as she dabbed some water on her face.

A smile formed on Roy's face as he turned the page to the horoscope section.

He pulled down his newspaper to look at Hawkeye, still smirking, "My birthday is in a few days. You know what that makes me?"

Hawkeye stopped for a moment to think, she really was in no condition to play games at the moment but she played along anyway answering, "A fire sign?"

"A bastard?" said Edward who had just walked through the open door.

"No Fullmetal," Roy said dryly, then he looked back at Hawkeye with a smile, "You were half right Lieutenant."

"Hello Edward. Back again I see," Riza said cheerfully looking up from the files with a smile.

He looked over at her, Edward looked miserable with the heat under his red coat, "Hey Lieutenant. Don't you have air-conditioning in this place?"

She sighed, "The central air for the building broke. We're waiting for a mechanic to fix it. You can have some water from the break room though and it might be good idea if you took off your coat and jacket."

Hearing Hawkeye's last words sent a few perverted thoughts dashing through Roy's head. He mentally scolded himself and then cleared his throat, the conversation in the room seemed to be getting off task.

"Thanks," Edward said with a smile, ignoring the Colonel's attempt at attention.

He was about to leave for the break room when the Colonel spoke up, "Fullmetal."

Edward turned back annoyed, "Yes Colonel?" mentally adding 'Old Bastard'.

"Your report?" he asked with an eyebrow raised. Edward sighed, pulled his report out of his coat and handed it to Hawkeye.

"Thank you Edward," she said placing it down on her desk.

"I'll be in the break room, Lieutenant," he said then turned back to Mustang before leaving muttering, "Bastard."

"Pipsqueak," muttered Roy turning back to his newspaper then remembering what he had been talking to Hawkeye about before being interrupted.

"So do you know what being born in early August, makes me?" Roy asked turning back to her with a smile, then adding, "Aside from a fire sign…."

She shrugged and Roy went on, standing up from his desk, "It makes me a Leo. A lion!"

He paused to lean on his desk, watching her for a moment before continuing, "You know most Leos are born leaders."

"I've heard that before sir," she said not looking up from the paper work, "I've also heard that most Leos are similar to cats in that they can be arrogant, always self-assured, always demanding attention, smug, and rush mindlessly into things without thinking them through." Roy slumped his shoulders for a moment at her words, Hawkeye could be harsh when she wanted to be.

A moment later and Roy smirked coming up with an idea, he said, "You forgot one thing Lieutenant…."

"What's that sir?" she asked tired, looking up from her work finally. She was surprised to find him only inches away from her face, hunched slightly so they saw eye to eye.

"Cats are also fast on their feet," he whispered, his lips curled in a manic grin.

"Sir…," she said slowly, placing the papers onto her desk.

"Yes?" he asked, slowly replacing the manic grin with a flirtatious one.

He was answered with half a glass of water thrown in his face. They both stood frozen for a moment, water dripping off Roy's face and the glass of water still in throwing position in Riza's hand.

Roy blinked, taking a few steps back away from her, not bothering to wipe the water away since it felt good then asking, "What was that for?"

She smiled as she put the glass down, "You just looked like you needed cooling off..."

* * *

(A/N): This idea kinda came to me since my birthday just passed. Sweet 16 which still makes me not legal enough to do half the things I do but hey thats off subject. This is my first Royai I've posted and well hey, Mustang seems like a Leo to me so I think this fits. 

Anyway, I don't think I'm very good when it comes to humor. My brother has been telling me to stick to the demented, killer stories I write and my other friends tell em that I need to write more lemons and slash. Maybe I'll do that later...


End file.
